How Many Times Were You Rejected From a Job Application?
We often take it personally when we actually desire the role we’re applying to. Otherwise, we skim through the emails with the generic statements “Thank you for applying for this role. Unfortunately, we will not be progressing with your application at this time…” and then we stop reading and go on with our day.
While writing this article itself, I’ve received two rejections, one that weighed heavily on me and one that was impersonal. And it’s just 9:30 AM on a Tuesday. So, I just went on with my day and decided to share my views with you.
What can you do when you receive too many rejections at a time when you crave:
Income Security?
Putting your Knowledge to Use?
Being able to afford Activities that simply make you happy such as painting, dancing, tennis, learning a new language, going to watch theater or concerts?
The answer is nothing. Well, not entirely. But in that moment itself, you just have to let it sink.On a daily basis, you can try and build resilience to successfully bounce back from your own judgment of yourself, which is most likely affecting your brain health.
Common Psychological and Emotional Features Resulting from an Unsuccessful Job Hunt
Uncertainty
Living in uncertainty is the most draining factor.
The inability to plan longer than one week ahead
The lack of financial security
The shame of going out among new people and being judged for unemployment
The uncertainty of the recruitment process for the desired role's internal timeline
The uncertainty of when a job offer will materialize
These are just some factors that can deplete our mental resilience repertoire by constantly working out what-if scenarios to reassure ourselves, leading to low headspace and difficulties concentrating.
Pressure and Expectations
As inflation rates rise and the economy struggles, the job market is becoming extremely competitive. On one hand, the latter is adding pressure on job seekers to secure employment as opportunities decrease and layoffs increase.
On the other hand, unmet expectations may result in decreased motivation, loss of confidence, and disappointment.
Performance Pressure
In job interviews, the high-pressure setting involving the evaluation of qualifications and performance as well as the pressure to leave a good impression are deemed to increase our stress levels.
Negative Self-Talk
Job seekers often internalize rejections and blame themselves. Why is that? Because we tend to be harsh on ourselves. Many studies have explored self-compassion versus compassion towards others, concluding that it is a constant struggle and fear for individuals to express compassion towards themselves, especially if they are highly self-critical. Additionally, it turned out that it is socially desirable to show compassion for others more so than for oneself.
Social Anxiety
People struggling with social anxiety may find confronting interviewers and potential judgment crushing during the job-seeking process, leaving them with low self-esteem.
Rejection and Failure
Feelings of inadequacy and failure depend on several sub-factors:
Frequency of job applications/rejections
Urgency of getting a job as soon as possible
Time invested in filling out the application
Person to Role Match
Expectations
Nevertheless, the ultimate feeling is the same, triggering feelings of helplessness, pessimism, irritability, shifts in mood, low self-worthiness, and in extreme cases, depressive thoughts.
Tips from a Job-Seeker Trying to Find the Perfect Job for the Past Decade
Pause and Embrace Your Emotions
Job rejections often trigger a mix of negative emotions like disappointment in oneself, frustration stemming from constant applications, and finally, the most destructive one: self-doubt.
Before we take it a notch further in managing and regulating our resilience, it’s equally important to sit with the discomfort and acknowledge as well as accept these feelings without judgment.
It's completely normal to feel upset when turned down for a desired job. Our expectations have not been met, which leaves us disappointed. Additionally, we’ve invested time and energy in filling out the application that we believe we could be a great fit for.
Allow yourself the time to process these emotions and heal before moving forward.
Remember that Rejections are a Commonality
It’s comforting to understand that facing job rejections is a shared experience during the job search process, and many people encounter it at some point in their lives.
Remembering that job hunting is a commonality can provide us with some sort of reassurance and perspective as we navigate through our career journey. You’re not alone.
Practice Self-Compassion
Several studies have been conducted on job seekers, motivation, and mental health. It turns out, being kind to yourself, as advised by psychotherapist Amy Morin, is the most crucial starting point.
Try not to go into the vicious loop of negative thoughts about never getting hired and what-ifs scenarios. The right opportunity will happen for you.
As they say, patience is indeed a virtue, especially when you need it the least. Now consider what you would tell a friend facing the same issue. Would you criticize that person and pinpoint their “areas of weaknesses” when they get rejected? Or would you try to boost their morale and pinpoint their strengths instead?
Same goes for you, dear reader. Treating yourself with compassion can enhance your motivation and encourage you to persevere. Start with this and you’ll get there, eventually.
Don’t Take it Personally
This is the worst thing you can do. Internalizing rejection can directly affect your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-efficacy, which can be truly detrimental in all senses.
Limit self-criticism or negative self-talk and remind yourself that setbacks and rejection are common and don’t define your worth or abilities.
Maintain a Balanced Routine and Set Realistic Goals
Balanced Routine: Make sure you have a healthy daily routine consisting of leisure activities, physical workouts, meditation, or any activity that brings you mindfulness, self-care, job searching, and finally networking. Having a daily routine in place can provide balance and a sense of purpose, thus reducing feelings of chaos and dwelling in our thoughts.
Realistic Goals: In order to find a suitable role, one should have a tailored resume that suits the opportunity. Thus, make sure you constantly tweak your CV and go to networking events where you have the opportunity to meet and socialize with like-minded people in your domain.
Keep a Holistic View in Mind
Just like being stuck in a traffic jam and feeling it is never-ending, the current challenges may appear long-lasting, but I promise, they are temporary. Amy Morin, a well-renowned psychotherapist, advises job seekers to zone out a bit and create some psychological detachment. Picture yourself years from now narrating the story of your journey to your dream job and how hard you had to persevere to make it happen. Eventually, if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.
Inquire for Feedback
If possible, ask the interviewer for constructive feedback on what went right and what went wrong. By inquiring further, you are showing the interviewer your genuine interest in the role, culture, and company. It also proves that you’re curious to upskill yourself and open for feedback.
Explore the Competition
It’s always a good idea to look at the competition job posts. Oftentimes, job requirements for equivalent roles are similar across companies. If you progressed and then were unsuccessful, that indicates that your qualifications may match with opportunities elsewhere. Finally, having undergone the hiring process with one company positions you at an advantage to go through interviews more comfortably and assertively with their competitors.
Maintain Your Professional Demeanour
No matter how much you internalize the job rejection, responding gracefully to it is crucial.
Don’t take out your frustration on the recruiter, it won’t get you places. It would just be you reacting rather than taking a breath and thinking about what’s really beneficial for you.
If possible, express gratitude for considering you for the position, politely ask them to consider you for future opportunities and briefly reiterate how your values and skills would benefit their company.
Final Thoughts
Job rejections are quite the journey and can have a significant effect on your mental health.
Remember not to let it affect your self-worth to an irreversible state. Acknowledge your feelings and your frustration but also bounce back up quickly by practicing self-care. If you still find yourself irritated after each rejection and struggle to move past it, going out with some friends, venting out, and having some fun have always been the perfect recipe.
Relevent Media:
Lessons from 80 job rejections | Erica Burett | TEDxFrankfurt
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